Your Wanting
In this talk, Bruce Di Marsico discusses wanting.
You don’t need to be against anything; you can just want something else more. For example, you may want health more than the flu, the flu more than cancer, cancer more than death, ordinary death more than death by torture. . . so there is nothing that you do not want, there are just things which you want more.
“Bad” means wanted for unhappy reasons. If speaking to someone in such a way that they feel hurt is “bad”, that ultimately can only mean that you spoke based on (mistakenly) believing you would have to feel a way you didn’t want.
Ultimately, you want what you want for no reasons at all. If you choose chocolate over vanilla ice cream, you can cite a reason, but there is no evidence that you understand your own motivations. Only this can be said truthfully: you wanted chocolate more than vanilla. But you can make up reasons to want what you want if you find that useful.
As loving is not being unhappy with others, you can never be unloving, you can only feel as if you are unloving; you want to be happy; happiness is by definition that which you want most; therefore, you can only imagine that you don’t want what you want most—you can never actually not want happiness, or being loving.
Option Method – Your Wanting